“We honestly should have caught this sooner,” lamented University of Nebraska-Lincoln Athletic Director Bill Moos. “The ‘CURLS GET THE GIRLS’ tattoo should have been a dead giveaway.”

Bill Moos’ seat is warm after this latest mistake. While he thought he was hiring Scott Frost to coach football, Frost was thinking something entirely different.

“I mean, look at my last name. Curling is the sport for me,” commented Frost.

UNL boosters are livid as the ‘prodigal son’ does not seem to be returning as intended. Frost cited his desire to be on a winning team as part of his decision to come to Nebraska. The Husker Curling Club is currently ranked fifth in the country as they move on to the national finals.

This passion for curling has burned in this new coach for a long time. Scott Frost’s love of the sport started the moment he stepped on the ice. “The way you move on the ice. The burn in your arms as you sweep. The rush of a perfect guard. That’s what true sporting is,” Frost said.

The clues were there the whole time. Fans of Nebraska football really should have noticed that Frost and his band of coaches recruited based on skills of sweep speed, release, and movement on ice.

UNL’s current solution to this problem leaves much to be solved as Scott Frost is now slated to coach both sports. The only way to accomplish this is to combine the football team and curling club into one athletic conglomerate. It is unclear how playing time will be sorted, but athletes are required to go to practice for both sports.

Frost gave one last comment about the compromise, “I hope this doesn’t hurt our curling production. I don’t even like football.”