As he made his way to the stone staircase of the next house on his delivery route, pizza delivery guy Clyde Determan just wished to himself that everyone in house has pants on this time.

“God, I hope they’re dressed in there this time,” said Determan as he removed the pizza boxes from his bag, praying that the people behind the wooden door were at least getting dressed if they had been unclothed moments before.

“It wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve gone to a house, knocked on the door and seen someone of any type – young or old, small or big – just standing there without any jeans or slacks or anything,” continued Determan, who desperately wanted the rest of his night to be a normal, uneventful night with no uncomfortable exposures of undergarments or genitalia. “Heh. It wouldn’t be the first time tonight.”

“So, really,” said the hapless delivery boy, a witness to the birthday suits of multiple people, as he finally played his cards on the table of destiny and knocked on the door. “I really shouldn’t be getting my hopes up.”

While waiting to see what kind of person the Universe would place in front of him without legwear of any kind, Determan voiced his confusion as to why so many people answered the door while practically three-fourths of the way nude.

“Why do so many people answer the damn door without pants? Why?” asked a pizza guy still pointlessly praying that his next customer would show some common sense and at least put something on, a cock sock at the least. “Some of them seem to forget that they have pants, so they kind of shuffle around when they answer the door and take forever to finally get some on. But a lot of times…they just stand there, smiling…”
As the door opened and Determan glimpsed at a pair of Spiderman briefs below a middle-aged man, he sighed and figured that if he is going to work at the pizza joint half the time without his pants, he might as well stop judging people so much.