After nearly eighteen months touring worldwide with his classic album ‘The Wall’, Roger Waters — former songwriter and bassist for psychedelic rock group ‘Pink Floyd’ — was committed to the Sudden Valley Retirement Centre Sunday afternoon. ‘The Centre,’ as it is referred to by its staff, is a popular rehabilitation facility in northern California known for its more boisterous and aggressive clientele.

“Mr. Waters was committed to The Centre after it became apparent he would no longer be able to control his unfounded and frequent anti-government claims.” said Yvvon Hammersmith, the head nurse at the facility. “We here at The Centre feel that Mr. Waters’ lack of respect for education and thought control needs to be dealt with as seriously and as soon as possible.”

Waters was also diagnosed with random bouts of unnecessary, prolonged shouts that were often echoey in production quality and disturbing to passers-by.

“If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding!” said a heavily sedated Waters. “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat!?”

“Of course, it is clear to us that denying our patients the one thing they request is most likely helpful to their recovery. We assume that preventing Mr. Waters from consuming even one ounce of his favorite pudding, Tapioca, will greatly enhance his recovery time,” added Dr. David Gilmourson, The Centre’s head physician and Waters’ primary care professional.

“Wrong! Do it again!” interjected Nurse Hammersmith to some of the patients in the facility’s common area. “You! Yes, you behind the bike sheds! Stand still, laddy!”