It’s that time of year again. Winter break is over. And so is all motivation. College has once again lost its charm. Coming into the fall semester, you could feel all the possibilities – maybe you’ll discover your passion (like so many Honors seminars have told you to do), maybe you’ll find some new friends, maybe you won’t be so bankrupt in the relationship department.

Turns out your search for passion is just as fruitless as your grandmother’s womb, the friends you found are akin to finding America when you were expecting the West Indies, and the relationship you thought was gold turned out to be a shiny piece of plastic. You think it’s the weather. When you walk outside the tips of your ears and nose sting from the biting wind, mirroring the bitterness in your soul.

Correction: you hope it’s the weather. Maybe if the world stops burning for a second, you can still use the miserable cold as a scapegoat. Unfair as decapitating poor Marie Antoinette. “Let them eat cake,” you muse while typing a meaningless article for a satire newspaper that hardly anyone reads.

Your cold peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the closest thing you have to cake right now, and you don’t feel like selling a kidney to afford to go to Target. A friend once told you that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich could solve any problem in the world. Empty words. Empty world. It’s probably the weather.