A student who was rushed to the hospital after not checking his phone for an entire lecture was in critical condition Tuesday, doctors reported. Witnesses in Professor Tim Barnett’s 12:30 calculus lecture said Brian Porter, a sophomore chemistry major at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, fell unconscious just minutes before the end of class. Medical tests […] Read more
Sophomore John Stallworth is just like any other student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln: a mathematics major with interests in video games and Husker football. One would think he’s living the typical college experience. However, he is, in fact, the victim of the horrible dictatorial control of Chancellor Ronnie Green, the freshly ordained chancellor who […] Read more
Great Plains Studies major Anton Kaplan has been turning heads in lecture halls around campus over the last week with his new desktop wallpaper: a Blue Eyes White Dragon so sick that it distracts any student who sits behind him in class. Kaplan created the wallpaper with the help of photoshop and the fine people […] Read more
Freshman English major Lisa Joosten lifted her Frankensteinian amalgamation of a scholarly paper, kissed it and beamed a bright smile. “I am so getting an A on this,” Joosten said to herself. “In fact, I could probably send this to a journal and have it published.” Joosten, with her positivity and confidence in that moment […] Read more
Hey man, you’re seeing this, right? You’re never going to believe this. Holy hell, this dude straight up brought his dog to campus. I’m not even sure if this is allowed. I don’t know the rules, but I never see a dog here. This is just way out of the ordinary for me. What could […] Read more
Citing “those terrible creatures that haunt me in my sleep,” University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Ronnie Green has refused to leave his office for the last week and a half. Sandra Armstrong, a longtime office assistant to the chancellor, said that this problem was “unexpected, to say the least.” “Harvey never made us put up with […] Read more
Sophomore English major Jeremey Reed was on his way to his British Literature Before 1800 class yesterday to take his midterm exam. The exam was to be three passage identification questions followed by a long form essay– a fairly easy test depending on whether students had actually read any of the material. “Yeah, I didn’t […] Read more
Today the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Athletic Department unveiled an exciting new development for Husker fans on a budget– opening a secondary student section top of Oldfather Hall. Oldfather Hall is the home of the College of Arts and Sciences, the Department of History and now cheap seats for fans of college football. Kendra Phillips, a […] Read more
For decades, the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ hot dog launcher has thrilled fans by sending processed meat spiraling through the air and into their mouths. But, the football team’s more health-conscious fans have been left out of the action — until now. Prior to the Huskers’ home game against Purdue, Nebraska athletic director Shawn Eichorst and University […] Read more
Good news for students: the University of Nebraska-Lincoln will be offering a new program, “NU in 2,” aimed at giving students the community college experience of graduating in two years while taking all of the classes they would in a normal four-year program. “We know that we want to get students out of here as […] Read more
