Ah, it’s that time of year again friends: Valentine’s Day. For some, this means melting in the warm caress of a lover’s arms. For satire writers and others, it’s a reminder of the unrelenting agony of solitude. If you do, however, manage to find the gumption to ask your crush out only for them to […] Read more
Campus officials at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln are on high alert this week after reports of a water bottle refilling station at the Nebraska Union becoming self-aware and eliminating multiple students in recent days. The refilling station, located outside the ASUN student government office, is said to have targeted students with high-powered jets of water […] Read more
The guy stopped next to you at the intersection of 17th and O streets, blaring what seems to be his own rendition of The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside,” is set to perform at Vega next weekend. Brandon Fleurs, the man behind the wheel of the blaring, light-driftwood metallic Pontiac Grand Am, has been working on his […] Read more
Wah! On Saturday night, federal judges ruled that portions of President Trump’s immigration ban, which barred refugees from several Muslim-majority countries from entering the U.S., were unconstitutional. Those who had been detained due to the executive order must now be freed. Wah-hah! This is a good start. Donald Trump’s ban shows a flagrant and troubling […] Read more
In an unprecedented move that sent frigid chills down the spines of all who beheld it, thousands of University of Nebraska-Lincoln undergraduates gathered in a large, humanoid mass of sheer magnitude and destruction to become a literal student body earlier this week. The Godzilla-like gargantuan, besides instilling pure and utter fear into the hearts of […] Read more
Lately, politicians and citizens alike have cracked down on media sources accused of spreading false and pandering information, or “fake news.” Recently, Nebraska officials have discovered a cowardly, wretched outlet that has blatantly released fake news, and has tried defending itself. At the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, The DailyER, an insipid spreader of fake news through […] Read more
Nebraska men’s basketball coach Tim Miles turned some heads in a press conference this week with the announcement of sudden, drastic changes coming to his team’s gameplan this season. Miles, who’s known to place emphasis on the purely fundamental side of the game, explained a more flexible strategy he has in store for the Huskers. […] Read more
Amidst the cacophony of events in America, a new meteor struck the bathtub. Online media outlet Buzzfeed published a real news story Monday morning. We can’t make this up, and trust us on this: this is real. No, seriously, don’t doubt us. Buzzfeed writer Walter Piddle, even with a reputation for creating listicles such as […] Read more
Being a professional kicker in the NFL is an important job. You are responsible for kicking off the game, making the opposing team’s offense work harder and giving your team three points at any moment’s notice. It is an extremely difficult job to do. So, for free agent kicker Alex Manson, he shares the […] Read more
During her Senate confirmation hearing, Betsy DeVos, President Trump’s nominee to head the Department of Education, outraged parents, lawmakers and educators when she made claims that guns had a place in the classroom if for no other reason than to protect students from grizzly bears. In response, members of the gay community immediately took to […] Read more
