Sports at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln are about to get even more exciting. For all students tired of boring and unpopular sports like football and basketball, there is excellent news. UNL will be adding varsity sports teams for both tetherball and four square.

Disappointment after recent seasons of football and basketball has finally convinced the administration it is time for a change. Students like senior marketing major Sawyer Dettlaff have been calling for this change for ages. “Nobody even likes football,” said Sawyer. “people want real action sports. Sports like tetherball.”

The DailyER decided to investigate these claims of more exciting sports, and it would appear that football and basketball fans have been missing out. The thrill of a solid swing at the tetherball or a cold-hearted cherry bomb in four-square is just unparalleled in the current array of varsity sports at this university.

When he was asked about the changes, Athletic Director Bill Moos had this to say: “The University of Nebraska-Lincoln is this great state’s flagship university, and therefore deserves flagship sports. Games like tetherball and four-square are the competitions of the future. There is already a huge fan base.” This belief seems to have some solid support as youth all around the country play these games each day at school.

This plan also has an added benefit. Memorial Stadium will be converted to house four-square courts and tetherball poles, and UNL will now have the prestigious honor of housing the world’s largest recess sports stadium.