A mass of frustrated University of Nebraska-Lincoln students grumbled and groaned in the East Campus Dairy Store Monday afternoon after their bus driver, Russ Tritter, finally stopped his vehicle. Passengers aboard the Blue Bus spent a record fours hours circling the campus.

“Every minute felt like ages. The tears started falling after the first hour, then the screams. It was like solitary confinement, except with an exquisite view,” said physical anthropology major Garrett Yoon.

“The seats quickly became uncomfortable plastic death traps. More than half of us have bedsores from sitting in that rolling asylum for so long.”

In the aftermath of the incident, students were found on the lawn of the Dairy Store building folded over crying and kissing the ground. Many students claimed they never thought they would exit the vehicle.

“The second my feet touched earth, my entire soul buckled. I wept for the first time since my grandfather died. It was the most touching experience of my life,” added sophomore Golf Management major Kara Bennett.

Tritter was pursued by the Lincoln Police Department until the cars lost pursuit in a particularly lovely patch of greenery near the Barkeley Memorial Center. Officers on the scene reported an abnormal appreciation for the “spacious” and “captivating” campus.

“When you stop a moment to really take it all in, you realize how beautiful life is,” sighed LPD Officer Jim Harborough. “My heart swelled to three times its normal size. Maybe everyone should take the scenic route more often.”