UNL freshman chooses own path, neglects sidewalks

In this ginormous ocean of a world where everyone is trying to stay afloat, local brave soul Susan Booll is going against the current.

In the midst of finals, UNL freshman Susan Booll is deciding to choose her own path.

“I’m tired of having to follow these stupid rules imposed onto me by none other than baby boomers, who clearly don’t want to see me survive,” she told DailyER correspondents. “It is unsafe to walk on sidewalks, no one can stop me.”

Numerous complaints of an unidentified female walking strictly on streets and grassy areas have plagued the UNL Police office. Police Chief Edward Collin sent out a statement Sunday night saying, “Nay-sidewalkers will not be tolerated on this campus.”

The response has incited fear into the hearts of students like Booll who simply just don’t want to be controlled.

“It’s my life,” she said. “I’m not harming anyone.”

Reports indicate that nay-sidewalkers are in fact healthier and happier than those who choose to walk on sidewalks.

Booll will continue to walk strictly in streets until further notice.