February 2018

Robert Mueller gives up on the Russia investigation after discovering all tampering was done from an incognito browser

Calling the last seven months a royal waste of time, special counsel Robert Mueller announced he was giving up on the Russia investigation after discovering all tampering was done from an incognito browser. “Undoubtedly, there was extensive malicious, foreign influence in the 2016 presidential election,” Mueller said in a press conference early on Tuesday morning. […] Read more

Nebrasketball’s explosive offense detonates, creates 50-mile blast radius

In an eruption that made the Pinnacle Bank Arena resemble a watermelon stuffed with an M-80, the Nebraska men’s basketball team accidentally played too hard against the Iowa Hawkeyes last Saturday, triggering a thermonuclear explosion and sending the state into fallout. The crowd of 15,268 were left saturated in radiation, causing fans to resemble sickly green […] Read more

Pete Ricketts: “Stand For The Flag Super Bowl Sunday” was just the beginning

Following a tumultuous football season for national anthem protests, Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts has once again revived the controversy. This past Sunday, Ricketts made an official state proclamation to rename the day to “Stand For The Flag Super Bowl Sunday,” coinciding with the National Football League title game. Receiving lots of positive feedback, mostly from […] Read more