According to an astonishing report released Thursday, University of Nebraska-Lincoln senior Kacy Alarcon’s grade point average peaked while the twenty-two year old economics major was in high school. “All of our research indicates a sharp decline in [Alarcon’s] GPA beginning in her senior year,” reported Miguel Cooper, senior researcher and chief author of the study. […] Read more
Your asshole roommate is somehow more racist after spending a heartfelt Christmas holiday with his family, sources reported Friday. According to startled and thoroughly disgusted sources, roommate Justin Wilson’s anti-minority rhetoric really took a turn for the worst as soon as he returned from winter vacation. “My dad came up with an awesome joke over […] Read more
It was a nice and long break for freshman Jim Johnson. After spending three weeks with family and trying to avoid high school friends, Johnson was exhausted. When he arrived back to his Abel North dorm room Sunday night, he knew what he needed to do. It was officially nap time. He brushed his teeth, […] Read more
Stop comparing me to everything. Yes, I am a chicken, yes I know how to type, no I am not stupid. Since I am able to communicate via DailyER correspondent Nyadet Dojiok, it’s imperative that I effectively write this as the entire world of chickens depends on it. If there is anything worse than being force-fed vitamins […] Read more
