Senior’s GPA clearly peaked in high school

According to an astonishing report released Thursday, University of Nebraska-Lincoln senior Kacy Alarcon’s grade point average peaked while the twenty-two year old economics major was in high school.

“All of our research indicates a sharp decline in [Alarcon’s] GPA beginning in her senior year,” reported Miguel Cooper, senior researcher and chief author of the study. “We can’t say for sure what the cause of this unfortunate phenomenon might be, but her GPA has not recovered since.”

The report, released this week by UNL’s Committee for Educational Computation, indicates a steady rise in Alarcon’s GPA that even approached 3.8 leading into March of 2015, after which an unknown factor decreased the number by several percentiles.

Alarcon remained noncommittal when approached about the situation by The DailyER staff.

“I dunno, man, I just wasn’t feelin’ it then,” explained Alarcon when questioned about the plunge. “Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do, ya know?”

Though the cause of the plunge remains uncertain, the effects of the steep drop in grade point average were felt immediately.

“My parents were livid for awhile there, dude,” reported Alarcon. “Once that scholarship package came in the mail, I could almost taste the disappointment.”

“At least I got into the U-N-of-L, though, right? I’m soops glad I got to come hang here for the past few years,” added the senior.

Though her career after college remains unknown, Alarcon predicts the GPA trend will continue, even after her graduation.

“I dunno how, man, but I bet that GPA is gonna keep droppin’. I ain’t doin’ no school work once I’m outta this place.”