“Oh and look, I also crafted a name tag for my dog and named him Herbie, so now whenever I look at him I think of Herbie Husker’s beautiful smile,” said Chancellor Ronnie Green during a press conference Tuesday morning where he announced his plan, over the next few years, to transfer UNL into an […] Read more
Chad Bradjake McZimmer, 37, hails from Columbus, Ohio, and was reborn last Saturday morning as a new glorious man. The night before, McZimmer was at an Alpha Sigma Sigma fraternity party at a house rented out near Y street. Eyewitnesses at the party reported that McZimmer (also known as “the man with three first names”) […] Read more
Jesus Christ, just get me the hell out of this godforsaken wasteland. UNL’s motto is “there’s no place like Nebraska!” and I swear that better be true. Every night I dream forlornly of a place that is as non-Nebraska as humanly possible. So I’m going to Perth, Australia, for spring break, on the clear opposite […] Read more
“I’ve been deployed in Fallujah, Kabul, and everywhere in between. I’ve been through hell and back. I have no fear and I’m hard as nails, but that place… it scares me,” reported Staff Sergeant John “Soap” MacTavish. The infamous place Sergeant MacTavish was referring to is, of course, the ultimate frisbee club house on Y Street. […] Read more
“Oh I had chem today didn’t I, heck!” said freshman from Chicago, Brad Chad, as he quickly left the interview, sprinting in the direction of Hamilton Hall, leaving his phone behind, open on Netflix to season two, episode 26 of “That ‘70s Show.” Chad had been talking about how his entire first glorious year of […] Read more
By minor bar critic Duncan Moore, freshman Located on 14th and P street, it certainly is a long walk from Harper Hall, but I’m sure the Zoo Bar is worth it. Established in 1973 and with a large selection of quality food, drink and music, the Zoo Bar has it all for a future 21-year-old […] Read more
“No, you’re not seeing the problem from the right angle! You have to crack this nut, you buffoon!” shrieked 6-year-old squirrel Arnold Grassworth, born somewhere near Love Library, as he helped a confused freshman in the physics resource center in Jorgensen Hall. Arnold’s story is one of constant struggle and woe. Everyone told him he would […] Read more
Mystery abounded in the Nebraska Union Centennial room. A rowdy jungle full of high ranking research leaders from all different corners of the university in a bustle and hustle. What was making everyone go bananas? The sudden termination of the school’s director of undergraduate research. The news dropped late in the night on the 30th of […] Read more
Governor Pete Ricketts was confident, composed and ready to strike when he walked into the State Capitol building with his beat-up Sony Walkman and giant Bose noise canceling headphones on Monday, Feb. 12. Unprompted, as he strode into the meeting to decide the bi-annual budget, the good governor said, “There’s no place like Nebraska, except […] Read more
In what may go down as one of the most egregious communication errors in UNL’s history, Chancellor Ronnie Green accidentally told university officials to write “tobacco-free” instead of “free tobacco” on signs all across campus. The mistake has gone even further as the artists making signs and posters took the “tobacco-free” message to heart, with […] Read more
