Lincoln, Nebraska, is known for its extensive network of bicycle trails, which provide cyclists an easy and fun way to traverse the city. But people who prefer driving cars may have been feeling left out — until now. City traffic engineer Ron Canfield recently announced a $25 million project that will add car lanes to […] Read more
An ongoing two-week effort to retrieve University of Nebraska-Lincoln freshman Collin Yoder’s MacBook has proven unsuccessful so far. The 19-year-old grabbed Apple’s latest model out of his backpack to show a group of friends, who subsequently clamored and reached to no avail as it’s lighter-than-air design allowed it to ascend into the atmosphere. “I’m a […] Read more
Students in Fred Green’s history class at Irving Middle School grew sleepy Thursday afternoon while learning one of life’s classic lessons: history is boring. That afternoon, Green thought he’d try and make a subject as dry and lame as history seem “really important” by showing a film about a boring event he claimed “impacted the […] Read more
Just a week removed from the revelations that a professor in the Glenn Korff School of Music was running an illicit steroid ring in the halls of Westbrook Music Building, the school has been hit with another scandal. Recently uncovered documents have revealed that Dr. Alexander Smith, the senior faculty member in charge of experimental […] Read more
While stubbornly seated in his now-empty office, recently terminated professor of philosophy Gerald Brewster repeatedly remarked that this was all, “foolish and nonsensical,” and that his job, “theoretically still exists.” “Logically, it’s not possible for me to be fired,” Brewster said of the letter officially terminating his employment. “Clearly nothing exists outside of the human […] Read more
The crafty botanical world shocked Lincoln scientists Tuesday morning as studies discovered that – wouldn’t you know? – there is a plant that waters its own goddamn self. During usual morning routines at the Lincoln Arcadia Greenhouse, with botanists having to actually water expressionless and parasitic lifeforms, Dr. Darla Springsteen found a plant that – […] Read more
Ah, it’s that time of year again friends: Valentine’s Day. For some, this means melting in the warm caress of a lover’s arms. For satire writers and others, it’s a reminder of the unrelenting agony of solitude. If you do, however, manage to find the gumption to ask your crush out only for them to […] Read more
The guy stopped next to you at the intersection of 17th and O streets, blaring what seems to be his own rendition of The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside,” is set to perform at Vega next weekend. Brandon Fleurs, the man behind the wheel of the blaring, light-driftwood metallic Pontiac Grand Am, has been working on his […] Read more
After months of construction, Jake’s Cigars has added a new expansion bar right next door from the original. The new addition offers many of the same options to the original suite in a smoke-free environment with the advantages of being able to accommodate larger crowds on certain days. However, tension has built up between the […] Read more
In an unprecedented move, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln announced Tuesday that its Water Science major would now be known as “Aquafina Science,” after the bottled water brand owned by PepsiCo. At a press conference, UNL chancellor Ronnie Green was joined by PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi to announce the change. “Our exclusive partnership with Pepsi over […] Read more
