In a recent survey of all Americans from coast to coast, Lincoln, Nebraska, received the distinguished title of, “best place to settle.” The sleepy Midwest city earned its reputation from the thousands of local denizens who look forward to the same everyday monotony they’ve come to know and love. “Every day I wake up and […] Read more
After sprinting across the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus and arriving at Burnett Hall three minutes after her philosophy class’s start time, sophomore accounting major Julia Jacobsen was dismayed to see that, once again, the only open seats were those directly behind Lil’ Red, the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ 8-foot inflatable mascot. Begrudgingly, Jacobsen took her seat at […] Read more
Dating is hard for everyone, even our beloved icons. We all know about the dating sites, the casual hookup apps and the televised contests that try to answer the age old question of “who can do it better?” However, at some point it takes an effort that is a little more localized. Lincoln country music […] Read more
Right now, stricter gun regulations are hot topics in Washington. While some residents in Lincoln might agree with the idea of stronger control, some families claim that regulations will make everyday life a huge drag. Families such as the Hansons say that a tougher time purchasing firearms could mean dull family game nights for them. […] Read more
When a dozen people stood at the corner of 8th and A Street today, the last thing they expected to see happen, happened. The group stood in awe as student John Anderson walked across the street– before the walk sign turned on. “I didn’t know what was happening,” said Kevin Richards, one of the witnesses. […] Read more
Holy fucking shit boys, this is it. This is the one. We’re fucked and there is no way around it. This storm is rolling through soon, and it’s gonna bend us over a barrel and show us the 50 states. Go to the store. Stock up. Get some extra water, because this storm is gonna […] Read more
It was announced Saturday that all pending criminal charges against local 22-year-old Kevin Schaefer, of Beatrice, would be dropped following a compelling defense. The jury found Schaefer innocent of all charges after overwhelming evidence and witness testimony concluded that Schaefer is, in fact, one of the stupidest people on the planet. “Honestly, it wasn’t an […] Read more
Last week local strongman Ray Kydney wowed everyone at the University Campus Rec Center when he bench pressed a whopping 350 pounds, an amount comparable to the weight hoisted upon Atlas’ shoulders. “Who is this Adonis, this modern day Hercules?” the crowd must have thought as he racked on three sets of 100-pound weights and […] Read more
Like most liberal teens, local sophomore Michael Abelson was very excited to spend Christmas dinner arguing with his conservative-leaning family about controversial issues like the Black Lives Matter movement, Syrian refugees and how many members of his family want to elect a real-life fascist into office. However, Abelson was surprised and disappointed to find his […] Read more
Dave Pearson, a sophomore at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, is finally on the market.
