Following a failed sixth-month courtship of a coworker, Gary Jamison found himself placed in the dreaded “friend zone.” This designation, used for men who find themselves serving as close friends but never considered for romantic reasons, has been applied to Jamison by 26 year-old Jessica McMahon. Jamison was introduced to McMahon when his superior assigned […] Read more
The Willow Springs sandlot was commissioned by the Lincoln City Council in 1948 as an area for local schoolchildren to play and pass the time after school. Members of the local community have recently begun a petition for the removal of the site, as it seems to have outlived its usefulness to the surrounding neighborhoods. […] Read more
Local Pervert Steven McPhilbin reported that a recent pornography debate he saw on the internet was ruined by the complete absence of naked lesbians. Misled by a link that stated the pornography debate would be debated between some hot, young, naked girls, McPhilbin was disappointed to find it sent him to a YouTube clip of […] Read more
In a record-breaking move, the Johnson family added nearly four dollars to their swear jar yesterday. The donations came after a lengthy dinner table argument over whether eldest son Matthew should be able to hang out with his friend Chad on Friday evening. The fight allegedly started rather innocently, with Matthew asking his parents if […] Read more
Roosevelt Middle School has long held a strong tradition of premier Jazz performers. As one of Nebraska’s most critically-lauded Jazz programs, Roosevelt has received media attention recently for their strange adaptation of musical numbers from the Off-Broadway musical revue “Bring in ‘da Noise, Bring in ‘da Funk.” Band directors were quoted as saying they made […] Read more
After the remarkable defensive performance against the Michigan State Spartans on October 29, Bo and Carl Pelini handed out the much longed-for “blackshirts.” The term has been synonymous with Husker defense for years, and the blackshirt is a storied tradition at the University of Nebraska. Once senior cornerback Alfonzo Dennard got ahold of his, he […] Read more
The Occupy Lincoln protest, consisting of nearly fifty people camping outside of Centennial Mall, have been giving local media, including the Lincoln Journal-Star and the Daily Nebraskan, a plethora of the closest thing to news stories either publication has seen since the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Cornhusker Football Team’s trip to the National Championship game in […] Read more
In an unprecedented “asshole-ish” move, Stacy Mullen’s ex-boyfriend Morgan Stills called only three days after their break-up to ask for his Xbox controller back The move was met with a negative reaction from Stacy’s “best friend forever” Jennifer Moor and current boyfriend Dennis Jones. “That son of a bitch thinks he has any right to […] Read more
Mike Pendergast is a very familiar face at UNL women’s sporting events. Pendergast, 43, has been at every women’s home volleyball, basketball, and soccer game for the last four years, and says he doesn’t see himself stopping anytime soon. “I love watching these women play,” Pendergast said in an interview. “They just look so much […] Read more
The Nebraska Cornhuskers returned victorious from Minnesota on Sunday, but discovered an embarrassing truth the next day: they were one person short. “Yeah, apparently we left Tom [Osborne] at the World’s Largest Truck Stop,” head coach Bo Pelini told a distraught Mrs. Osborne. “We’ll send someone back for him in a few days. He’ll be […] Read more
