“It’s over, babies. We’re bringing it back. We’re ending the war on beautiful, clean lead paint,” Margo Georgiadis, the new CEO of toy giant Mattel, said in a press release on Wednesday.

The fateful year of 1978 has long been remembered as the year toys died in the hallways of Mattel. That year, a “corrupt and dirty” Jimmy Carter regime banned lead paint in children’s toys. Although Mattel’s stocks have improved since that day, things have never been the same.

But now, opportunities are looking up. President Trump announced a plan to reduce huge numbers of regulations, meaning Mattel will be free to restore this versatile and completely safe element to many of our nation’s popular toys. Favorites like Hot Wheels, G.I. Joe and Barbie will soon once again have that delicious lead paint taste and toxicity.

Local boy, Jimmy Radtke, is a toy enthusiast. When asked about the potential to have toys that also taste great, he said, “How exciting! As a 12-year-old, I’ve always been a fan of stupid stuff, so this is right up my alley.”

Georgiadis added another comment, saying, “We’re going to make toys great again. We’ll make such good toys you won’t believe it. They’ll be begging us to make worse toys.”

Regardless of what happens, at least the American public can once again satisfy that sweet tooth.