Local

UNL’s new automatic sinks are in fact racist

After this past election, Nazis aren’t the only things thrusting us back to the dreaded early 1900s. UNL’s automatic sinks are also joining the club. It has come to the attention of the thirty black students attending UNL, that the new automatic sinks are actually, in fact, racist. African American student and junior agricultural economics major Jeffrey Doust exclaimed […] Read more

UNL Bell Tower to begin playing straight “bangerz”

Hoards of students gathered around the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s Mueller Tower after news that the tower will no longer play classical music. Effective immediately, the tower will now only play straight “bangerz.” The change came about after complaints emerged of students falling asleep during their short walks to class. Christy Timpson, a junior computer science major, […] Read more

Governor Ricketts eliminates all state taxes, will fund government entirely through lemonade stand he set up outside capitol building

After an already insane fiscal year for the state of Nebraska, the 2018 state budget just got a whole lot messier. Already knee-deep in budget cuts for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, Governor Pete Ricketts has announced a new state tax plan that would eliminate the need for all future state taxes. Puzzled legislators questioned Ricketts’ move […] Read more